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It's been a while.
Feels like I have forgotten how to write.
I have been... fine, good, okay.
Still surviving.
Still living.

Life you're in

Hey

How's the life you're living?

Is it what you've expected?

Are you satisfied on how the things are?

Or you yearn for more?

More happiness.. Time.. Hope.. Faith..

Someone to depend on

Someone to trust

How is it?

The life you're living.

Somethig new

Something new... Next time I'll definitely try this.. 

Unseen

Ano pa ba kailangan kong gawin? Masyado ba kong mabait? Magrebelde ba ko? Ano? -____-

Just saying

I'm so tired

Time is what I do not have.

 

I need time.

Time to do what I want.

Time to do what I love.

Chances

I've given unlimited chances to those whom I believe deserves it.. But, every time they take the chance to prove themselves... I ended up betrayed. Why? Do I trust people too much that I always end up the one being hurt? Why? Why do I let them take those chances for granted? Why do I let them take me for granted? Do I love them too much? To trust them (again and again.. And again.)? :|

.. I need some self respect here..

Tears

 

Did you ever cry because of somebody else's pain? I did.

I have a lot to say but I can't express it.

I wanted to cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 

til my tears dried up

til there's no reason to cry

til I don't feel anything at all...

Doubt

Doubt. How can it affect a person? I have doubts. I've been doubting myself, on what I can do, on how I can influence others, even on how I can improve myself. I just don't know anymore. What do I need? Comfort? Support? Trust? Maybe all of it? I wonder.

Options

When you work hard to have what you dreamed of and you got it, it makes you happy, right? But, what if life just wants you to have a taste of it? That life gives you so many options you're not wishing for right on your face, and you, there... trying to hold on on what you know will make you happy. What if life is showing you options  that you deserve even more than what you wanted? Will you go for it or will you hold onto your dream?

New start

New hospital, new environment, new rules,and new people to please.
I started my volunteer work at Evangelista Medical last monday. I'd really love to say NO but I cant do anything. Before we were given the schedule for our rotation, I wished that my first area would be OR (Operating room) and OB-Peds (obstetric and pediatric ward) would be the last. But HEY! It's funny how life works, giving you first what you dont wished for, then later if you deserved it, you'll get what you've wanted. The two areas just got switched!
1st. I am overwhelmed by the doors. I'm not used to it. I'm used seeing my patients all at once. :))
2nd. toxicity is my buddy. haha! 1st day = toxic.. the 2nd = toxic.. and the 3rd was hell. haha!! Incident report on my 3rd day?! that fast?! haha! I'll just laugh it off.
3rd. Why am I always A.L.O.N.E?! *sigh* I'll just need to get used to it.

Lookin' forward for tomorrow! What will happen next? ahaha!

Sigh

*sigh* Reality should stop. I'm not enjoying life anymore.

*sigh* Been doing things JUST because I HAVE TO OR I NEED TO.. not because I WANT TO. And I'm not happy about it. Really, NO! But, what can I do? :(

*sigh*

live others dream

When we were still kids, we were asked what we wanted to be in the future. Now that we've known what we wanted and what to do with our lives, they're the ones making the decision for us. It's so hard to live other peoples dream. But do I seriously have a choice? *sigh*

October 24'12

Today, October 24, 2012, marks yet another day of being on the same country, same place, breathing the same freakin' air, with one of my favorite boygroups and not freakin' able to see them. THAT. IS. HEART. BREAKING. I cant do anything about it because my parents wont allow me and I dont have enough money to buy a ticket. -_- The  thought of being in the same place with your bias and you're just few meters away from him, that's a WoW moment. But not being able to see him in that short distance, that's an Aww moment. You'll only got the chance to 'just wish' and dream the 'what ifs'.

It's also betty's birthday~:) we had our dinner at pizza hut. Juu's not there... -- she's freakin watching the concert!!! while we- her friends- was inside the mall taking about how the concert will go. -___- great right? oh well, I'm just glad it's not b2utiful show. haha~

Reality, Kpop, LIFE

My parents are asking me... Why and what do I love about kpop?

     Simple. I'm envy them. Not because they can sing in front of so many people (like I want to.. thanks, but no thanks ;D.. though I really wanna try it some other time). Not because of their music. Definitely not the lyrics. Not because they're famous and can be seen on TV. Not because the world know they exist. Not because they can travel around the world to have their tours, promotions, or concerts (though that's also one of the reasons XD). Not because they can buy expensive just-got-released-gadgets and stuff. And definitely no because of their pretty face ans body.

     Do you really wanna know? It's because of the fact that they're living their dream (their OWN dream) and here I am living somebody else dream. I envy them. They can do things they really want to do for the rest of their lives. While I, myself, need to accept the fact that I won't be that "SOMEONE" whom I really want to be. Now, I should start accepting the fact that I would be living a life where I'd be that "someone" I wouldn't even dreamed of being (even for a thousand times). I'm jealous because they got the chance to live their dream while I'm here, stuck in the middle of something called reality. Where you're expected to do what others want and just stop dreaming of becoming the person you want to be, 'coz no matter what you do, you won't get the chance to.

     I can listen to their sermon (or whatever the hell you call that) the whole day, do things they want me to do, as long as they would let me do the things I love. I can handle the hardships just to reach MY dream, but to struggle and hold on the pain to reach the top because someone else dreams of me becoming "that kind" of person and "that kind" of career... THAT'S. JUST. HELL!! *sigh* It's so hard to live in the reality where you were expected to be that "someone" you were expected to be. Sometimes, I want to tell them I can't bear doing the things they want me to, but do I seriously have a choice? I bet they wouldn't even let me take a course that doesn't have a degree. *sigh* well, that's life. Hmm.. let me correct that--- that's what you call: REALITY (other term: HELL).

It's hard to live other peoples' dream. So if you had the chance, go live your own.

Kids

I hate kids. -__-

They are so ANNOYING. really.

it's like::: COULD YOU STOP BOTHERING ME?!?! I'm working on something!

arrrrrggggghhhhhh~~

Right now.. there's two kids beside me..

really..these kids should stop what they're doing before I lose my temper.. -__- 

annoying.. annooooying... ANNOYIIIIIIIIIING.

Graduate. BSN. 2012.

Officially a NURSE.

First of all... God, Thank you. I really wouldn't make it without you. To my parents, Thank you for all the support. I love you (really.. although I'm not really making you feel it... still.. I do.) 

alright... now.. I need to review for my board exam on july. Hope I'll make it. T^T

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I just did what I was told to even though I know what I really wanted.

Nursing is not even in my option.

LIST: fashion design, interior design, culinary arts...

in the  line of medicine.. I want to be a surgeon.. well, that wont happen.. XD

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I'll make sure that someday...

I'm going to have a restaurant, bakeshop & coffee shop, and BOUTIQUE.

That's my goal.

Photoshoot for Graduation

 Dora, Betty and I

Wae is betty so cute?! :))

..wanna take her home~

<--MJ

one of The Boys

Nikki, Bebs, Betty, Rach, Me and Joy

Our filipiniana 

ah, jeongmal... wae is betty so cute?

 

My Friends

 We'll be nurses soon!!

That's me and Joy

our creative dresses

She hate pink.. ke~ she has no choice but to wear it.. haha!!

FUTURE NURSES!

Girls

Girls.
You'll see them wearing dresses, skirts & hanging shirts. You'll see them wearing make-up everyday.. eye liner, blush on, & glittery eye shadow. You'll see them at every clothing store fitting every dress that they like. Buying high heel shoes not less than 5 inches. They are vain! They love to shop. They love upgrading themselves every month and some of them.. everyday! They love to style their hair~ braid it, curl it, or pull it up.


Mom said that I should be like them.. I should wear skirts, dress, and super mega high heels!! ><


I'm sorry but I'm not like them.. I'm not that kind of girl. It's okay if I don't wear those clothes or heels. I'd rather wear jeans and slippers/rubber shoes. It's okay if I don't wear any make-up. Those girls, they're just applying make up to hid their pimples and imperfections. I'd be glad if everyone accept me for what I look like. I'd rather let them see my bare face than cover it with lots of chemicals. You'll always see me putting my hair up in a bun. Yeah Yeah.. girls love curls, but not me. Girls love putting their straight hair down but not me. I don't like my hair brushing all over my face.


I dont act like a girly girl. I act how I want to. If I want to run.. I'll hold your hand and run as fast as I can. I love to run (that's why I seldom wear high heels).


Girls! Be yourself.

Yearbook Write-up

I never thought it's so hard to write something about oneself.. :))

Before.. what I know is that all questions about you (myself) is so easy to answer.. but what's happening now is a disaster.. haha!! Just a simple question as describe yourself / what are your positive and negative traits are so hard to answer.. It's like I dont know myself.. This is making me crazy!!!! ahh~~ Jeongmal..

Can someone describe me? Jebal~~~ I dont know who I am.. hahaha~~ Maybe someone knew me better than myself. XD

Been doing my write-up since this morning.. it's already 8:16PM.. and still.. I CANT ANSWER THAT QUESTIONS!!!! HELP!! :))

I'm checking my FB and Twitter from time to time.. and all i can see is post/tweets of my other classmates about those questions.. haha~~ everyone's dying because of it.. XD tomorrow is our deadline and I hope I can finish this on time.. hahaha~~