Dahil minsan..

Dahil minsan nakakapagod nang sundin nalang kung anong gusto nila..

Dahil minsan nakakapagod nang ngumiti kahit malungkot ka..

Dahil minsan nakakapagod nang itago kung ano talaga ang nadarama..

Dahil minsan nakakapagod nang intindihin ang pagkukulang ng iba..

Dahil minsan nakakapagod nang balewalain ang pagkakamali nila..

Dahil minsan nakakapagod nang magbulag-bulagan kahit nasa harap mo na.. 

Dahil minsan nakakapagod nang mabuhay sa isang mundong puno ng pagpapanggap.. 

Dahil minsan mas gusto mo nalang sumuko kahit alam mong kaya mo pa..

Chances

I've given unlimited chances to those whom I believe deserves it.. But, every time they take the chance to prove themselves... I ended up betrayed. Why? Do I trust people too much that I always end up the one being hurt? Why? Why do I let them take those chances for granted? Why do I let them take me for granted? Do I love them too much? To trust them (again and again.. And again.)? :|

.. I need some self respect here..

Doubt

Doubt. How can it affect a person? I have doubts. I've been doubting myself, on what I can do, on how I can influence others, even on how I can improve myself. I just don't know anymore. What do I need? Comfort? Support? Trust? Maybe all of it? I wonder.

Story

Different people, different lives, different experiences, different stories. How do we deal with it? ...with our lives, other people's lives, how we feel, how we show what we want to say and how we want others to feel. Sharing. We can choose whether we want our stories to be known to others; or just be another person in the crowd. Though you may not know it, your story may change other people; on how they live, and how they handle their lives. It may be just another story to you but it can be more to them. It can be an inspiration, to live another day, to give them hope that they've given up just before your story is known.

Options

When you work hard to have what you dreamed of and you got it, it makes you happy, right? But, what if life just wants you to have a taste of it? That life gives you so many options you're not wishing for right on your face, and you, there... trying to hold on on what you know will make you happy. What if life is showing you options  that you deserve even more than what you wanted? Will you go for it or will you hold onto your dream?

New start

New hospital, new environment, new rules,and new people to please.
I started my volunteer work at Evangelista Medical last monday. I'd really love to say NO but I cant do anything. Before we were given the schedule for our rotation, I wished that my first area would be OR (Operating room) and OB-Peds (obstetric and pediatric ward) would be the last. But HEY! It's funny how life works, giving you first what you dont wished for, then later if you deserved it, you'll get what you've wanted. The two areas just got switched!
1st. I am overwhelmed by the doors. I'm not used to it. I'm used seeing my patients all at once. :))
2nd. toxicity is my buddy. haha! 1st day = toxic.. the 2nd = toxic.. and the 3rd was hell. haha!! Incident report on my 3rd day?! that fast?! haha! I'll just laugh it off.
3rd. Why am I always A.L.O.N.E?! *sigh* I'll just need to get used to it.

Lookin' forward for tomorrow! What will happen next? ahaha!

Sigh

*sigh* Reality should stop. I'm not enjoying life anymore.

*sigh* Been doing things JUST because I HAVE TO OR I NEED TO.. not because I WANT TO. And I'm not happy about it. Really, NO! But, what can I do? :(

*sigh*

live others dream

When we were still kids, we were asked what we wanted to be in the future. Now that we've known what we wanted and what to do with our lives, they're the ones making the decision for us. It's so hard to live other peoples dream. But do I seriously have a choice? *sigh*

October 24'12

Today, October 24, 2012, marks yet another day of being on the same country, same place, breathing the same freakin' air, with one of my favorite boygroups and not freakin' able to see them. THAT. IS. HEART. BREAKING. I cant do anything about it because my parents wont allow me and I dont have enough money to buy a ticket. -_- The  thought of being in the same place with your bias and you're just few meters away from him, that's a WoW moment. But not being able to see him in that short distance, that's an Aww moment. You'll only got the chance to 'just wish' and dream the 'what ifs'.

It's also betty's birthday~:) we had our dinner at pizza hut. Juu's not there... -- she's freakin watching the concert!!! while we- her friends- was inside the mall taking about how the concert will go. -___- great right? oh well, I'm just glad it's not b2utiful show. haha~

Reality, Kpop, LIFE

My parents are asking me... Why and what do I love about kpop?

     Simple. I'm envy them. Not because they can sing in front of so many people (like I want to.. thanks, but no thanks ;D.. though I really wanna try it some other time). Not because of their music. Definitely not the lyrics. Not because they're famous and can be seen on TV. Not because the world know they exist. Not because they can travel around the world to have their tours, promotions, or concerts (though that's also one of the reasons XD). Not because they can buy expensive just-got-released-gadgets and stuff. And definitely no because of their pretty face ans body.

     Do you really wanna know? It's because of the fact that they're living their dream (their OWN dream) and here I am living somebody else dream. I envy them. They can do things they really want to do for the rest of their lives. While I, myself, need to accept the fact that I won't be that "SOMEONE" whom I really want to be. Now, I should start accepting the fact that I would be living a life where I'd be that "someone" I wouldn't even dreamed of being (even for a thousand times). I'm jealous because they got the chance to live their dream while I'm here, stuck in the middle of something called reality. Where you're expected to do what others want and just stop dreaming of becoming the person you want to be, 'coz no matter what you do, you won't get the chance to.

     I can listen to their sermon (or whatever the hell you call that) the whole day, do things they want me to do, as long as they would let me do the things I love. I can handle the hardships just to reach MY dream, but to struggle and hold on the pain to reach the top because someone else dreams of me becoming "that kind" of person and "that kind" of career... THAT'S. JUST. HELL!! *sigh* It's so hard to live in the reality where you were expected to be that "someone" you were expected to be. Sometimes, I want to tell them I can't bear doing the things they want me to, but do I seriously have a choice? I bet they wouldn't even let me take a course that doesn't have a degree. *sigh* well, that's life. Hmm.. let me correct that--- that's what you call: REALITY (other term: HELL).

It's hard to live other peoples' dream. So if you had the chance, go live your own.